[Overview]
[Cv]
[Publications in English]
[Publications in Finnish]
[Projects]
[Countries]
[Telecom jokes]
Contact data
Teleplanning
A. Wirzenius Ltd.
Rantakatu 19
48700 KOTKA
FINLAND
www.iki.fi/arno.w/
e-mail
before cat sign firstname[dot]w
after cat sign iki(dot)fi
mobile +358 40 59 65 235
|
The purpose of having a telecommunications company (telco) is
to provide telecommunications services to the community.
A telco has no other right to exist.
Finnish Minister Esko Rekola 1985, presenting telecommunications bill
that finally replaced the Czarist telephone decree from 1886 (!) in year 1987.
In fact, this is not a joke, but may be a contributing reason to the Finnish success in telecoms.
|
UNDP Deputy Resident Representative:
This country does not need any telecommunications.
I:
How do you communicate yourself?
DRR:
We installed an own nationwide radio system, because the public telephone system does not work.
Early 1990's
|
The international hotel reservation agency with a computer reservation system charges
US$100 for a hotel room per night.
The local hotel receives US$15 for that room.
I paid both prices for the same trip in early 1990's.
|
The WTO agreement is against the constitution of this country.
Junior regulator staff person in late 1990's
|
The level of international telephone call charges has absolutely no impact on export.
Regulator officer responsible for tariff approval in late 1990's
|
User late 1980's:
This "cream skimming" lowers prices and improves quality.
We want more cream skimming.
|
Price regulation is a good excuse for increasing tariffs.
Finnish Director Finance late 1970's
|
Last will:
...and my position in the waiting list for a telephone connection to my grandson...
BTW: The monopoly operator in that rich Western European country challenged this last will in court,
but the last will was deemed valid.
A waiting list position can be included in a last will!
|
Monopoly operator had a long waiting list for telephone lines.
The list caused a lot of work.
Management life was easier without a waiting list to worry about.
So the solution was to dispose of the waiting list.
Service provision did not improve.
1980's.
|
Bureaucrat:
We own the telco.
Why should we pay the telephone bills?
Africa late 1990's.
|
Every second French person waits for a telephone.
All the others wait for dialing tone.
European joke mid 1970's.
|
User company telecom manager, Western Europe before EU telecoms liberalisation:
Leased lines pricing is similar to robbery.
Late 1980's
|
Congestion:
I could not get a call through, I go there by car.
Own experience in several cities.
|
User: I cannot get a call through to the capital. How can I file a fault report?
Telco answer: Call the fault report center in the capital.
Happened in Finland in 1960's
|
Monopoly operator:
No new local operator can start operation for years.
We have intentionally occupied all numbering capacity.
Reformulated from actual case in mid 1990's.
|
Mobile interconnection case:
Full call charge for mobile network I +
full long distance call charge for wireline network +
full received call charge for mobile network II.
Late 1990's in Asia.
Why do mobile users complain about call charges??
|
Policy maker:
Our monopoly will compete abroad.
Early 1990's in Asia.
Not far away in Europe in the 2000's.
|
Licence duration case:
My license expires in three years. No more investments. Customers have to wait.
Mid 1990's in Asia.
|
Monopoly operator:
We do have competition. Manufacturers compete heavily.
Mid 1990's in Asia.
|
Frustrated telecom regional manager:
I try to prevent people from ordering cheap telephone lines.
The waiting list is long enough.
Mid 1990's in Asia.
|
Flat rate with unlimited free local calls is a precious gift
from residential users to business users.
US businessman in 1980's
|
User:
Is 10 km a long distance call?
Europe early 1990's.
|
Call back:
Darling, call me back, it is cheaper.
Even my kids....
|
EDP entrepreneur:
Why do I need a telecommunications license for my computer?
Europe late 1980's.
|
Bureaucrat as regulator:
Your leased line is only for data.
It will be disconnected because you use it for multimedia.
There are no leased lines for multimedia.
Amended from Finnish experience in 1970's.
|
Management by Dinner:
Let us fix prices.
Otherwise competition will reduce profits.
Any fair competition agency knows this.
|
Telecom engineer planning investments:
Telecom is not for empty-pocket guys.
Finland early 1980's.
|
Telecom analyst:
Waiting time in the capital is seven years, and 25 years outside the capital.
Asia early 1990's.
The worst figure I have seen is 269 years....
|
Sonera (former Telecom Finland) faced competition early 1990's.
I asked:
How did you manage to cut cost and survive when subsidies were reduced?
Sonera director:
We had to.
|
Licence granting procedures: first come, first served, beauty contest, auction...
But I have seen first bribe first served.
|
The first mobile operator was granted full monopoly rights to all the GSM spectrum.
The second mobile operator was also granted full monopoly rights to the same GSM spectrum.
|
Yes Sir regulation:
Operator: I want this and that...
Regulator: Yes Sir.
|
User complaint:
I cannot receive e-mail because you ISP bounce my incoming mail.
ISP: We do not stop your outgoing mail.
Finland 2006
|
Customer reading broadband price list:
This 0.5 Mbit/s broadband connection is more expensive than leasing a house.
They could provide an apartment free,
similar to a free cola with a hamburger.
2008
|
|
