Bad, vile and meaningless: Dirty Little Secret from Alan's clob

I have got a dirty secret.

I'm one of those anonymous ** addicts. I'm addicted to a person.

I don't talk to that person. I don't see that person. But every now and then she comes to me in a dream and troubles me profoundly.

I'm happy, moved, touched, alive, passionate and my heart, for a second, my heart feels lighter. I'm a fox that was saved by the love of a little girl.

There is simply no way to stop loving her. I've actually tried, but I feel I could just as well give up. I wonder, oughtn't there be a way to stop loving someone? What does it take? What is the method?

Today, we are separated by countries and boundaries and languages and times and histories and unspent futures.

I'm really a miserable man.